Nashville, Tennessee
On March 25, 2012,
William Todd was taking a Greyhound bus ride from Kentucky that needed to make a stop in Nashville. The bus arrived at approximately 3:00 AM for a whopping 9 hour layover.
While most of us would be mildly annoyed at having to wait that long (in the middle of the night, no less), Todd decided to turn what little was left of the weekend into an adventure. His first stop was
The Slaughterhouse, a popular haunted house attraction.
The attraction was most likely closed (due to it being 3:00 AM), but that didn't stop Todd from
breaking into the place, stealing a gun, a shotgun, a taser, and (of course) a t-shirt. After securing his weapons and his souvenir, Todd closed the place down himself by
setting it on fire and burning it to the ground.
In the south, we call this "pulling a Sherman."
Next on Todd's to do list was breaking in his new weapons and obtaining some walking around money. He did this by
tasing and pistol whipping a group of people he found that were leaving a bar. He then took their cash and credit cards, ran off, and hailed a cab...
...which he
promptly carjacked and took on a quick run to a local Walmart. At this point, you're probably expecting the Walmart he visited to get blown up, but the worst thing Todd probably did there was use the express lane with the
$200 worth of food that he bought.
I'm not sure what possessed Todd to go through a Walmart check out line (which is still insanely slow even when at 3:30 AM) like a normal person, but once he had his food for the week, Todd wasn't finished wreaking havoc.
Pictured: The desk of a lawyer that will definitely
not be taking William Todd's case "like a boss."
Todd next moved onto the
Hotel Indigo, which was adjacent to the law office building he had just visited. He then went door to door
impersonating a female housekeeper in an attempt to acquire (i.e.steal) more cash. Todd was finally able to get a Canadian couple to fall for the cliched
"pushy female hotel maid" act. When the pair came to the door, he
robbed them of $600 at gunpoint.
While he was still in the hotel, Todd realized that his bright red hair and long ponytail would make him easy to identify by the many people that he had terrorized that evening. To fix this, Todd somehow found (or had purchased at Walmart) a razor and
shaved off all of his hair before departing.
No information has come out about what Todd did for the next 2-3 hours, but at approximately 9:00 AM, Todd
crashed his stolen cab into a downtown parking garage. Not one to be deterred, he simply
hailed another cab at 11:30 AM. Instead of assaulting the driver and taking the car, however, Todd simply asked that he be driven to
Opryland...because everyone has to see Opryland before they leave Nashville, apparently.
They have waterfalls in the lobby!!!
At this point, Todd decided to get cheap (despite having $600 stolen dollars burning a hole in his pocket) and
offered his driver a knife to his neck rather than cab fare and a tip. He emerged from the car and ran towards the hotel's powerhouse/cooling tower.
Todd's reign of terror ended when police finally (!) caught up to him atop the hotel, attempting to hide from them by
submerging himself in a water-cooling vat.
Suffice to say, police and local news were baffled by what happened, with Sgt. Tony Blackburn
stating "He was just on a terror. I've never seen anything like this before."
What's even better is that the news report embedded below states that the crimes took place on April 25, 2012. When I made the reasonable deduction that Todd's trip to Nashville actually began on March 25 (and later confirmed it), one intrepid commenter on
Fark.com declared:
"The chick in the video said April 25th. I was all like, 'WTF? It's news from the future! The cops can still stop him.'
So thanks for ruining that."
So in 9 hours (which is less time than it would take to watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy back-to-back), Todd had managed to
commit 11 felonies.
William Todd is currently being held in a Nashville prison on
charges of burglary, aggravated assault, and fraud (so far). His bond has been set at
$180,000. Not surprisingly, Todd is also
a wanted man in the commonwealth of Kentucky.
"Hello, I'm looking for a lawyer. You may have found some corn that I ate on your framed law degree."
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